


Loyalty or love?

by I_cant_live_without_my_coffee



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 20:38:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6209230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_cant_live_without_my_coffee/pseuds/I_cant_live_without_my_coffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternative ending for Clarke and Lexa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loyalty or love?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there,  
> This is my first time ever writing fan fiction and I only wrote it because of how disgusted I was with Lexa's ending, I would feel better never knowing whether Lexa was alive or dead rather than that ending they gave her. This is what I would rather have happened.
> 
> (its probably shite so I apologize in advance for my terrible writing skills)

Clarke was lying in lexa's bed running her hand through lexa's hair as she slept. She was thinking about how wonderful this moment was, how perfect it was, the sunlight shining in on lexa illuminating her tattoos so Clarke could see every detail of them, her hair flowing down on the pillow. She was comfortable here, she was completely at ease.

Unfortunately that feeling didn't last long as Clarke remembered she would be leaving with Octavia soon.

Something didn't sit right with her, she had a feeling that if she left then this would be her and Lexa's final goodbye.

It hurt her so deeply to think that she might never be able to look at Lexa like this again, to stroke her hair, to feel the soothing warmt that emanated from her skin. Clarke was so deeply in love with Lexa, she knew this, she felt this and now she felt the pain of knowing she might lose her.  
  
Tears started to form in her eyes as she thought about this. _"Get it together Griffin!"_ She whispered to herself trying to stop the tears from falling. Lexa turned to face the blue eyed beauty before her. Clarke looked at her, a forced smile on her face as she tried to act as though she wasn't hurting. Lexa saw through the smile immediately noticing the pain evident in the blondes expressive eyes, it wounded her deeply to see her like this.  
  
She pulled Clarke into a warm embrace. Her blue eyes could no longer hold back the tears she tried so hard to conceal. She lay her head against Lexa's shoulder and cried. Lexa said nothing knowing the pain Clarke was feeling. She simply brushed her hand along the blondes back in a calming manner.

-  
  
Eventually the tears subsided and Clarke had fallen into a light slumber. Lexa lay listening to her breathing softly as she held her tightly, never wanting to let her go. "I would give up _everything_ to stay like this forever" the brunette whispered.  
  
Lexa began thinking about Clarke, their people, their loyalty to their people, how much of themselves they have sacrificed for them and the recent betrayal they've both felt from their people.  
  
_"Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don't we deserve better than that?"_  Lexa never forgot these words, often replaying them in her mind, she heard them again as she looked at  Clarke sleeping soundly in her arms. _"We do deserve better than that"_ she thinks _"we have sacrificed so much, maybe it's time to just live the life I want....we want"_.  
  
She thinks of Clarke's determination to always find a way to save her people, people who have given up on her. Clarke never should have been forced into this life. Clarke deserved better, she deserved a simple life full of happiness, love and peace.  
  
Lexa wonders what it would have been like if they were simply two average people who crossed paths one day, could they have been together?. She doesn't get to think too long about it as the blue eyed beauty starts to stir in her sleep and soon awakens.  
  
Clarke looks up, blue meets green, she tightens her grip around the brunette, arms wrapped around her waist and face nuzzling into her neck. She kisses the beautiful brunettes neck and whispers "I'm sorry". Lexa moves slightly to look into the eyes she loves so much. She places a quick kiss on Clarke's nose and asks "for what?". 

Clarke smiles at her, she lets out a sigh and says "for crying" the expression on her face changes to one of disappointment "I didn't want you to see me like that".  
  
"Clarke, I'm glad I saw you like that, I want to be here for you, I want to see all of you and I want to be there to comfort you when you're upset"  
  
"Thank you" Clarke said her voice shaky as if she could break down at any moment.  
  
"Would you like to talk about what's upsetting you?" Lexa said wondering if it was right to ask her this.  
  
Clarke sat up, shifting back to sit level with Lexa, she took her hand, intertwined their fingers and tilted her head to lay it on lexa's shoulder. She took a deep breath "I'm scared" she said it was barely audible but Lexa heard her, Lexa alway listened intently whenever Clarke was near, she wanted to hear every word the beauty said clearly and how she said the words, she loved her raspy voice.  
  
"What scares you Clarke?" She responded, concern laced her words.

Clarke stayed silent for a while trying to work up the courage to tell her everything she was feeling. Her silence stretched so long that Lexa wasn't sure what to think "Clarke, you do not have to tell me if you do not wish to" she said breaking the silence.  
  
Clarke looked at her and realised that Lexa was worried she had overstepped by asking. She wanted Lexa to know and with a sudden burst of courage she shouted "You!" It sounded almost angry.  
  
"Me?" Lexa asked with a questioning look on her face.  
  
"You" Clarke said much quieter this time.  
  
"I'm sorry, Clarke I do not mean to scare you" she replied looking almost defeated.  
  
"No, you don't understand Lexa, I'm not scared of you" she said rushing to explain "I'm scared of losing you, I want to stay and be with you but I know I can't and I don't want to lose you".  
  
Lexa tried her best to stay serious and talk to Clarke but she couldn't, she just sat there with a big beaming smile spread across her face looking at the woman she never thought she could be with.  
  
Clarke was confused, she had just shared her fears with the woman she loved and now that woman was just smiling at her. "Lexa?"  
  
"Yes Clarke?" She asked, still smiling.  
  
"Are you okay? You haven't said anything in a while"  
  
"Yes sorry, it's just...what you said.... that you want to stay and be with me....I can't help but feel happy to hear you say that"  
  
Clarke smiled, the usually stoic commander was smiling and speaking about her feelings. Clarke never thought her words could make a person (especially Lexa) so happy but seeing that smile she could feel the pure joy radiating from Lexa and it made her heart feel so warm.  
  
"You have a beautiful smile Lexa, I hope I can see it more often" Clarke commented placing her hand on the brunettes cheek.  
  
Lexa blushed slightly, she leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Clarke's forehead, she pulled back slowly, looking into her blue eyes "I might not show it clearly but I am always happy when I'm near you Clarke" she spoke softly, her words were honest and filled with adoration.

Clarke now had a beaming smile of her own showing, it only lasted briefly as she remembered soon she would be gone, her smile now turned to sadness. Clarke leaned forward laying her forehead against Lexa's "I should  have told you sooner, I needed to tell you sooner I...I wish we had more time..." her eyes started watering again.  
  
"Shhhhhh" Lexa tried to ease Clarke's pain bringing her into a hug trailing her hands up and down her back "we're together now that's all that matters"  
  
Clarke felt calmer just being in Lexa's arms, she felt safe, free, filled with joy and pure love. She felt like she could do anything, say _anything_. She pulled back just enough to look into Lexa's breathtaking green eyes, she took a deep breath "I love you Lexa....I am in love with you" she said it as if it was the first time she has ever said it to anyone.  
  
Lexa broke the distance between them, their lips met. A feeling washed over Clarke not like the feeling of wanting she had felt before they ended up here but a feeling of relief and heart stopping happiness, she couldn't help but smile into the kiss. Just as she did Lexa pulled back, she kissed the blondes cheek and whispered in her ear "I love you too" she moved to look into those beautiful blue eyes and said "I am in love with you Clarke".  
  
They stayed like that just watching each other for a while, hands now intertwined, Clarke rubbing circles on the back of Lexa's hand. They both enjoyed the feeling of just being together, no words necessary, just simple touches.  
  
"Clarke" Lexa broke the silence between them, Clarke always loved the way she said her name.

She looked at Lexa to see a serious expression forming on her face "what's going to happen now? Do you want to stay or...." Lexa aske scared of what the answer would be.  
  
"Of course I want to stay Lexa but you know i have to go" a sad expression fell over the blondes face as she spoke.  
  
"What if there was another way?" Lexa said hoping that Clarke would want there to be another way.  
  
"What other way could there be Lex?" The brunettes heart skipped a beat when she heard the blonde shorten her name.

Lexa hesitated for a moment before answering.

"When you were sleeping I said I would give up everything to stay like this forever, I meant it Clarke, there is _nothing_ I wouldn't do to be with you"  
  
"I still don't understand what you're trying to say lex, what would you give up that would alĺow us to be together?"  
  
"Everything Clarke this room, my home, my people, this life, I would give up being the commander"  
  
"I...I don't understand" Clarke stuttered "how can you do that? I thought you were the commander until the end, can you just give it to someone else?"  
  
"No but I could leave... _we_ could leave" Lexa said with more than a hint of hope in her voice.  
  
"Lexa I know you, you wouldn't just leave your people like that"  
  
"Clarke your people and mine have betrayed us, I'm not even sure I can consider them my people anymore, at least not the ambassadors and if the ambassadors don't trust me the people won't either" she reasoned.  
  
"Lexa you can't just leave there would be anarchy without you here and what if whoever takes your place wages war against everyone?" Clarke argued.  
  
"No one could take my place, not until I pass, the commander must have the commander's soul, if we left the only rule that could be enforced is to defend my people, without my permission they can't attack yours, our people would be as safe as possible Clarke".  
  
"But Lexa wouldn't they come after you?"  
  
"They could try but I have many safe places around that no one knows about, all fully stocked up on supplies, clothes, food, weapons for hunting, I..." she stopped momentarily, wary of what she was about to confess "I started preparing them while you were gone in the hope that you might come across them on your travels and be safe"  
  
"You did that for me?" Clarke was completely in awe of the lengths Lexa would go to just to keep her safe. Even when they were separated and it looked like they had no future Lexa still did everything she could to help Clarke.

"I would do anything to protect you, Clarke" she truly meant this, every word filled with passion and determination.  
  
Clarke looked at Lexa, her heart was burning with overwhelmingly love, she wanted to pull Lexa closer and kiss her with all the burning passion she felt coursing through her.  
  
With all the willpower she had she managed to pull herself out of her thoughts and stay on topic. "Lex you're not thinking clearing, we can't do this" Clarke said, half meaning it but there was still a part of her that hoped they could.  
  
"Tell me why not Clarke"  
  
"Because.....well there's....what about our friends? My mom? And Indra?"  
  
"Are they safe? Do you fear for their safety right now?" Lexa asks.  
  
"Yes and no" Clarke's beginning to believe they might be able to do this.  
  
"We wouldn't be fully disconnected from them Clarke, I have ways to ensure we would always know how they are"  
  
"This is your life, the only life you've known and your talking about giving it all up for me?" Clarke asked astonished by what she was hearing.  
  
"It would be an adventure, It doesn't have to be forever we could come back if you wish to" Lexa said, conviced Clarke will come around.  
  
"Lex..."  
  
"Run away with me Clarke!" Lexa was holding Clarke's hands, looking into her eyes, a soft smile on her lips.  
  
Clarke started thinking about it wondering if they really could do this. Looking into the eyes of the woman she loved she saw the hope, the optimism, the pure love. She thought about what her mother would think, she'd never be angry, if Clarke had even the slightest chance at happiness in this world Abby would want her to take that chance.  
  
She knew that what Lexa said was true for her too, her people were no longer really her people. Trying to win them back would be a futile effort, they no longer trusted Clarke despite how much she has sacrificed for them. Clarke wondered how much they would allow her to lose to save them yet again? Did they even care about her? Why shouldn't she be allowed some happiness for once?

"Run away with me Clarke!" The words replayed over and over again in her mind.  
  
After a long stretch of silence Clarke brought Lexa's hand up to her lips and placed a light kiss on the back of it.  
  
"Yes Lexa, I will run away with you".

-  
  
A short time later they left, without a word to anyone, they slipped away unnoticed, leaving everything they had behind them. They started their adventure with only the clothes they wore and each other.  
  
Maybe they would return someday, maybe they wouldn't. For now they were free to start a new life together.

**Author's Note:**

> I am finished with the 100 now that Lexa's gone and I choose to believe that the scenes after Clarke left Lexa's room never happened. 
> 
> Long live Lexa and Clarke


End file.
